Funny jokes about drinking

Drunk Jokes

Jokes No. 01: Why beg 
A bystander asked him begging: "Why are you begging?". Funny jokes about drinking
- Let me get drinking money.
- Then why did you drink alcohol?
- To have the nerve to beg birthday.
- !!!!!
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Jokes No. 02: Who is stronger than anyone 

Two wine very close friend. One day two men get together for drinking, the drinking straw was when a friend said he looked lately he seems weak, huh, sure beat the hell is my brother, so he took another bowl you're slobbering Stun the other on his head that was pulled together 8 nasal discharge stages

School Jokes humor fun

School Jokes humor fun 

Jokes No. 01: Students today 
- I do not think is appropriate here to sleep. I could be home sleeping there!

- Teacher's okay, sir, and you just hope he whispered a little!

- !!!!!
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Jokes No. 02: Go crazy teacher must also

Teacher: You just said the moon or farther away than the sun?
Games: beyond the sun, sir.
Teacher: Why?
Games: Why the Run My sir
Teacher: No, why?
Games: Ung Hoang Phuc's Why sir!
Teacher: No, the teacher is Why it.!
Games: Why? Oh! Why DBSK.
Teacher: Oh god, I have how?
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Jokes No. 03: Dose yourself 

One student told the players of both rooms:

Eventually have a girl because I take the chance. Both rooms arguing:

- Who is that you, as heard small talk?

- Little Red side rather use one class!

- Small to say something to you?

- Small said, "Ask him huh? Tui rather than jumping. "
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Jokes No. 04: Where Blood 

A teacher giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, if I do a handstand, as you all know, the blood will put down my head and face will turn red."

The class chorused:

- Yes, sir!

The teacher asks joy:
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Jokes No. 05: Do not want to go to school 

In the morning, her mother woke her son: "Wake up baby, time to go to school then."

- But why do I have to go to school. I do not want to go anywhere.

- I offer two reasons why you do not see what school?

- I hate kids and the teachers hate me.

- The reason was not legitimate at all. What goes up immediately.
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Jokes No. 06: Nature of Gold 

During practice chemistry

Teacher: beyond the obvious nature of gold: shiny appearance, good thermal conductivity, good electrical. You tell me what gold there anymore chemical properties.

Teo was found asleep.

Teacher: Teo let me know what quality gold conco too?

Teo: Gold sir also more volatile nature of man.
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Jokes No. 07: Hour test 

On the way home from school, saw unusually quiet Hoang Dung surprise:

- Why boyfriend seems so lifeless?

- Today I have checked, but I have to submit the white paper!

- Probably should not study white paper do not have to pay anything.

- No, the other day I dreamed that anybody hear me copies of will be zero, and whoever caught her cheating you will be rewarded with 10 points So yesterday I did not even study, to sit watch today if anyone does not spin well, any doubt ...
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Jokes No. 08: Giving fasting 

Teacher asks students:

- I always stand last month class, why do not you have to compete with your friends?

- Ma'am, she has taught me is to concede your friends!

- She:!?!?

Jokes funny love in the world

Jokes funny love in the world 

First Jokes: Why not get married 

- No husband is an international trend of the economy while spending very dilatory and stagnant, inflation is still higher voltages.

- Do not fight the life style of the people and the sophistication level mogul, just like sitting in a chair, sipping coffee, or play against cricket empire.

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2nd Jokes: Excellent 

School girls in Hanoi, midnight get the message: "Hey, you do not get used? I have a boyfriend yet? "

- Do you then you sir!

- Well, your father here, start the car to go home early tomorrow at meeting this family!

The next day the girl refused, the midnight messages:

- I got to do to be my friend? Allows you to familiarize know! I have a boyfriend yet?

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Jokes 3: Discuss Love 

The doctor said: "Love is a disease, it is necessary to treat the patient lying in bed mode".

Physicist: Why did you call love is a disease where it is consumed so much energy. Must call love is active. 

Housing mechanics: Why is it called love is active, before the main machine assembly stands still? Must call love is art.

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Jokes 4:  Maybe ... 

One pair are dating in cinema. In the film, the wife is angry, shouted at her husband because he was cheating. 

- What do you think of that phantom? 

- Nothing, I'm thinking the latter, as is my husband, so I have not been yelled at, huh? 

-!!?!!???

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Jokes 5: Suffer alone 

It rained. A couple walking on the street. Rain holding umbrellas husband alone, wife intense exasperation. 

- I only know her! I was all wet and miserable without him why? 

- I love you! Do you get wet very painful, but if you are then you suffer! ... So let me bear the pain alone.

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Jokes 6th: Indecipherable 

The doctor asked the girl at the door was equivocal: 

- Hey, do you visit? 

- Yes, I do not care, sir! I ask my doctor to work at all. 

- Please just tell her. 

- Yes, I ask you to read the status of the letter I just sent us love. 

- Letter of why she asked me to read, she does not know the word you? 

- Yes, I know the word, but because people love you and are so new doctor to ask him. 

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Jokes 7th:  Why is that? 

Adam and Eve lived very happy together. A breakfast meeting God, Adam asked: 

- Dear God, beautiful Eva. Why did he do to her so beautiful? 

- I always wanted to watch her​​. 

- Her skin was smooth as a new star! 

- For me always want to touch her ​​instead! 

- She has a pleasant scent. 

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Jokes 8th: Do not need that much 

A young millionaire told the actress he's beautiful fall for him: 

- How would you feel if the two of us together spend his money? 

- Okay! 

- He wants his life we do so! 

- I do not think it takes so much time to spend all his money

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Jokes No. 9: Grilled wild again 

- Honey, tell me about the passionate love affair of his previous go!

- I sympathize, I do not want foolish again.

- He said what was that?

- Because of the situation previously, the story ends there.

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Jokes No. 10: How well anyway 

A girl who loves to ask: 

- If you choose the $ 1 million or he would choose anyway? 

- He sighed anyway too. He took a million dollars. 

- So you do not love me? 

- Yes! But if you blame money, he or she would leave him alone, because no one took such an idiot.

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Jokes 11: Three topics in the dating 

The first guy dating a girlfriend, do not know what to say, he consulted his father and get advice: 

- There are three themes are better: food, family, and philosophy. 

- They met, after a few minutes of silence is difficult to say, he was on topic: Do not like spinach? 

- No! Match the girl replied and sat up.

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Jokes No. 12: Unfortunately, cats or cakes? 

Husband came home from work, his young wife wept after:

- I make him dish pie, but I inadvertently gone to eat cat!

- Hold me go! If something happens to it, he will buy you more beautiful cats.

jokes office humor and fun

office jokes

First Jokes: The code 
A CIA officer in Latin American countries, the task of finding the secret assistants are located in the capital city region

On arriving at the house to look, he saw an old man sitting in front of the door.

- Kettles and pans are correct here, right? - He uses encryption.

- Warm and any pan? - Man replied - If you want to see the American spy that he lived on the 2nd floor, room 13.

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Jokes second : By exact  

A first cowboys to New York and see the fortune telling machine, it looks like a public telephone cabinets. He and drop coins into the cabin, the printer paper as follows:

- Englishman John Bill, 1.85 m tall and weighs 105 kg. He is 23 and ready for 8:30 train. You're gonna be great term!

- The other guy was still amazed when a man walked up to the Indians, he also assured that this game is incredible. Two guests try exchanging hats and other clothes to trick the machine. John Bill to put a coin into the cabin and stand, printed paper as follows:

- He still is John Bill, 1.85 m tall, weighs 105 pounds and 23 years old, but now he has:

- Missed the 8:30 train.

- Lost and wallets clothes and roller gun.

- Was his scabies infection.

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Jokes third: diseases 

Once two men talking to each other in park
- I live poor because he tat.Con disease?
- I live a happy life because of illness!
- Why?
- Since I'm a physician!

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Jokes four things: How to die 

There was a guy that everyone goes to the market to buy or sell something. Looking back I saw there was something to buy, did not have something to sell, he ran home and then crushed with a brick to pack into a small package. When brought to the market, he's Ad:

- Who does not buy mosquito repellent?

- People are flocking to buy immediately, a polished expired. Suddenly the last person back asking him: How is this medicine?

- He calmly: She took it home to catch the mosquitoes mouth it pointed out, this drug is how to die well.

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Jokes five things: Serious mistake ..
Two longtime physician chatted during breaks sideline scientific conferences:

- For the first time in my life have committed serious professional errors. - One person expressed frustration with the tone.

- So keep calm recounted the incident see why! - The encouragement colleagues.

- I for one patient cured after a single visit, but do not know he's a millionaire.

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Jokes 6: Loss of temper 

One guy changed it to the bank money. Prudent banker carefully review the check and asked:

- The sign in here does not seem very calm?

- I know. This guy has shutdown director who was pointing a gun at the chest are shaking!

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Jokes 7: An opinion 

Night of the first performance, the author plays special invitations to a famous theater critic. At the lower screen, critics found sleeping headline jackfruit, playwrights falsetto 

- I was eagerly looking forward to his remarks, that he had come here just to sleep! 

- The guest replied calmly: Sleep is also an opinion that!

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Jokes 8: Condensed information 

're Editing a reporter's article, editorial secretary called him to reprimand this: 

- This article just write in 50 words, that he wrote 500 letters! Do you know an area such quotes on how much money? Take "condensed" to me! 

- Finally, it posted the following message: "Thanh X. Nguyen, Ha Noi. Evening 22/5, soi see petrol lighters has expired or not. Gasoline. X. life 30-year-old"

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Jokes 9: Understand your boss .. 

Staff to meet with you, scratching their heads: 

- Sir, your house tomorrow to clean up. I was tasked with cleaning up her entire house, cooking, washing curtains, cleaning doors, windows, garden cleaning ... 

- But the company tomorrow and have a lot of work, I can not leave him be! 

- Thank you boss. You know your boss can always make wise decisions!

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Jokes 10: Courtesy. 

- You lost it? 

- No! But I play for the other team. 

- They sell dear? 

- They do not! 

In a stadium brawl happened. 

- What happened? An audience member asked innocently. 

- Do not you see it? We hu-li-near London hit the referee - who sat next to interpretation. 

- But why? The match has not yet started, but the other! 

- Because immediately after the game ended, the regular trips last ship will depart for England, and his fear he could not train ...

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Jokes 11: opt 

A woman or choosy in buying shoes store. After watching dozens of pairs, she told my friend: "She Oh, I see most of the shoes first, she gave it to me."

- "Madam, unfortunately," the trade who waved his hand: "One other she bought it 3 hours ago.

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Jokes 12:  Finance tasting 
A disciple Liu Ling hand leaning against a bar counter, can boast the ability to distinguish any type of alcohol while blindfolded.

Many shops are betting he will not do that.

English waitress wine making each and every time he guessed well.

That alone, the waiter brought a glass of water. Hands try a sip of wine and immediately spit out, confessed:

- Do not know what the hell drinks, but I guess the point: would not sell.